I stayed in California to sell the house and work, retaining the all-important health benefits.

Our California house is now in escrow and we close November 17. We came across a house we both liked during my last visit to Pennsylvania in mid-October and we made an offer. We got it and we close escrow on Pennsylvania House Nov. 27.

What does this have to do with personal health records or medical records, you may ask? Bear with me. I’ll get to that.

So forms and signatures and paperwork with Social Security numbers, bank numbers and what feels to be a bajillion forms of various identification vehicles have been crossing the country via the U.S. Post Office and the Internet.

Can you say "vulnerable to identity theft?"

And what should happen as well last week is that I received no mail for two days in a row. Not even a political piece shilling for a candidate. Nary a "specials at Albertson’s" flyer.

Let alone our checking account statement.

Which. Should. Have. Come. By. Now.

The checking account statement which in less than three weeks will carry the proceeds from the sale of our house here in California which is, basically, a huge portion of our life’s savings

We have one of those condo-like mail boxes for our development, where each house receives its mail in one of eight mail boxes housed in a larger box. The mail deliverer opens up the back of the larger box and places the mail in the appropriate slot for each address.

I checked out the back of our box and what should before my eyes appear but the back door of the box broken into and folded back a schmear.

Just enough for a hand to reach in and take mail for us and one other unlucky homeowner.

So I checked USPS.com to see what I should do about possible mail theft.

First step: "Go to your local post office and report it."

The second day of no mail was a Saturday. I got home to see no mail after 5 p.m.

So I spend Saturday night and Sunday hyperventilating. Perhaps our mail wasn’t stolen; perhaps we just didn’t receive mail for two days. It could happen, I hoped.

I also had put in our mail forwarding request to Pennsylvania House online Thursday, the day before my mail stopped waiting for me in its box. While I requested mail forwarding start Nov. 17, perhaps someone got the date wrong and started forwarding our mail Friday.

Nope.

I went to the P.O. first thing Monday. Even talked to the guy who delivers our mail. He hadn’t started forwarding our mail so chances are if we didn’t have mail for two days, someone took it.

Strangely enough, I was quite calm. At least I knew. Knew that mail should have been there and that since it wasn’t, I have no idea if it was some neighborhood kid pulling a prank or an experienced identity thief, I had things to do. Pronto.

Our mail will be held at the Post Office until the box is fixed. I’d already called my boss at work to let her know I would be late Monday to check this out. I’d spoken with my husband Saturday night – and many times since – and told him to watch his credit card statement online carefully and to notify the credit reporting agencies of possible theft. I’ve also done the same.

And as soon as I could Monday I went to my bank to close our checking accounts and open new ones. And give our escrow officer the new account routing number for the electronic transfer of our house sale proceeds.

Everything at my bank was done electronically. The manager looked up our accounts and closed them and gave us new ones. He faxed a form to my husband for his signature on our joint account. I have new, temporary checks until my new ones come.

And we were done. Accounts secure again. We can even continue using our same debit cards.

I’ve already checked my accounts online and my old accounts are gone, replaced with our shiny new ones.

Electronic banking records, I love you!

And this is where electronic health records come in, for if being able to take care of such minutiae electronically with the help of someone who has the authority and the security clearance to do so was that easy for our banking records, I can’t wait for my medical records to go online.

I slept hardly at all Saturday and Sunday. Monday night? A quite restful full eight hours, thank you for asking.