I’ve received a few e-mails — labeled "an important private message" — from IHealthRecord.com ever since I registered with the service to build an online personal health record. I’ve received three messages from Medem, IHealthRecord.com’s parent company, messages I signed up to receive when I enrolled in the company’s educational programs. I chose to receive information on cholesterol.

I liken these messages to "notes from my doc," in that all three of the messages I’ve received have basically told me I’m at risk for heart disease (if I don’t already have it, what with the high cholesterol and all) and then it gives me links to online tools to help me lower it. I’ve received three messages so far: "Understanding Cholesterol," "Cholesterol and Lifestyle" and "Cholesterol and Your Diet."

The last one, on diet, talks to me in great detail, but in very easy-to-understand language, about eating more fruits and vegetables, eating lean cuts of meat, staying away from fatty dairy products, etc. It tells me I need to convert to a "Therapeutic Lifestyle Change (TLC)" diet.

All well and good.

But then it sends me links to online tools that tell me how much of these fatty foods I can eat. After filling out my age, height/weight and activity level, the calculating tool tells me how many calories I should eat, how many grams of saturated fat I should limit myself to each day as well as my total daily fat gram allowance.

Nifty!

Another link asks me about my shopping habits: Do I do the shopping in my household, yes or no? (My real answer: Only when my husband is sick in bed with the plague, that is how much I hate to grocery shop.) Do I go with a list, yes or no? (Real answer: Of course! A list makes the awful experience go faster. See first answer, above). Do I shop according to a) nutrition b) taste or c) convenience? (Answer: Convenience is my mantra because I Hate. To. Cook. To me, the only reaseon we have a kitchen is for the resale value of our house.

So I click on a link to a "TLC Diet Daily Food Guide," one that tells me in detail how much of everything good and wholesome and how little of everything bad and loathsome I should eat. A list. A wonderful list. List, how I do love thee.? List, thou art my savior when I walk through the valley and the shadows of the Albertson’s food aisles.

Yet, alas and alack, the list does not allow for much convenience food. No, it lists foods that must be peeled. Foods that must be chopped. Foods that require, how shall I say it? Ah, yes, here’s the word — foods that require work. Work that must be done in a kitchen. Work that will take several minutes to do until I can put food to mouth. Time that I’d rather spend painting the walls of the attic or digging up a stree stump in the back yard, that’s how much I hate cooking.

Healthy Choice Frozen Dinners, take me away!!!!